• February 27, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    chpiceThere lives a rainbow of promises in the WORD of GOD.

    Strong enough for even the weakest of moments.
    Rich enough for even the poorest of days.
    Wide enough to cover the span of a life time.

    Many of those promises are without condition… for such is the love of GOD for us.

    Some of those promises require action taken on our part.  And GOD always, always, always sees to it that those conditional promises can be met in an act of simple obedience by us.

    Key word here: simple…i did not say easy…not always easy.

    Deuteronomy tells us there are blessing for obedience…and cursing (consequences) for disobedience.
    (Deuteronomy 28)

    It’s a law of GOD.  Like any other law.  It’s how it works.  All day.  Every day.

    If i toss my apple into the air…it falls to the ground…every time…because GOD established the global law of gravity.  And for good reason.

    If i plant carrot seeds in the spring…i harvest carrots (not peas) in the late summer…every time…because GOD designed the universal law of reaping and sowing.  And for good reason.

    So when i think upon one of my favorite verses in Philippians… i have to stop and remember that there-in lies a conditional promise…a spiritual law …established by my GOD.  And for good reason.

    Let’s look………Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

    Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

    Remember simple…not necessarily easy.

    According to this verse…a “law” established by GOD…or better yet a scripture principle…tells me that if i choose NOT to worry, NOT to be anxious…and instead pray…simply talk to GOD…about everything…and show my thankfulness…during those prayers…GOD is gonna pour over me an unbelievable peace…so wild it won’t even make sense…its gonna be mind-blowing peace…and that peace is gonna set up guard all around my mind and all around my heart…and watch over me…as i travel through…those circumstances…that brought me to prayer in the first place.

    That’s what it says…….a command with a promise.

    And i get to chose:
    Worry or prayer.
    Anxiety or peace.
    Blessing or consequence.
    Life or death.

    I get to choose.

  • February 21, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    shespeaksHolding up one of my audio recordings i shout into the next room.

    “Are these called CD’s?” I yell.

    Most of the boys don’t even bother glancing up from the Syracuse game.  They are used to me.

    My good son, however, my favorite one, stops to reply.

    “Yes, mom those are called CDs, they have been around since the 80’s…and that thing your typing on is called a computer.”

    “Perfect!” I smile in response.

    I have done lots of  teachings over the years…most have been lost to the wind…but i do have a few that were recorded (on CD’s)…and i would love to make them available to anybody that thinks they would enjoy hearing my voice teach…

    Just send me your name and address and i will send them out.  Free of charge.

    I LOVE teaching the WORD and it is a pleasure for me to pass these along to you.

    You can refer to the list below to see if anything looks interesting to you.


    introduction to this unique ministry.

    God sees, God hears, God knows…..Exodus 3

    Dedicated to one very special lady….Luke 10

    Let us arise and build….Nehemiah 4

    in HIS time……Ecclesiastes 3:11

    When JESUS returns will HE find faith on the earth?…Luke 18

    part 1………..Revelation 12

    part 2…….Matthew 14

    part 3…….Genesis 3

  • February 15, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    stock-photo-11640691-teen-boy-hiding-behind-a-snowbankSitting at the dinner table on the day i cried in the snowbank….i confessed to my children that were present.  “Guys i’ve exposed us.  I wrote a blog with…..ahhh… stuff in it about us.”
    “But the good news is,”  I continued, “I only have a handful of faithful facebook followers that like my stuff and encourage me to write….and in 50 years most of us will be dead and none of this will matter…so chins up!”

    “Mom, just read us the blog.”

    So i did.

    “Wait a minute mom, i actually tried to help you up out of the snowbank..when you were crying remember?…quipped my youngest Elisabeth.
    To which i replied, “Its called poetic licence Elisabeth..i was making a point.”

    “That’s not so bad,” piped in another…at least you didn’t give names, dates and times.”
    “I considered it…but i do believe in family privacy,” I responded, “And you’re welcome.”

    “It was kinda redundant,” exclaimed my eldest, a published writer himself.
    “Like i said children i was making a point…is anyone listening to me?” I stammered.

    “You left a lot of stuff out,” exclaimed another, chewing a mouth full of pizza and only glancing my way.
    “Yes i did son…i only wrote what i felt pertinent at the moment. And besides if i were gonna include everything i would have to write a book.” I said…glancing to my left.

    “Why is everyone looking at me?” grumbled my youngest boy.

    “Well its not that embarrassing mom, actually you do much more embarrassing things in public, like every time we go out, so we are used to this.”  said my adult daughter.
    My other grown daughter nodded in agreement.
    “Ahhh, thanks, i think.” i answered, grabbing another chicken wing.

    “I want to be honest in my writing guys, i can’t be the only mama out there struggling daily with life’s stuff that gets hard and long.  I want GOD girls to know there are other ladies out there doing the daily grind…that they are not alone…that we can be real…and find real answers…and grab onto a real hope. But that may mean i need to be honest and open and bare about my life, my experiences and my struggles…kinda like 1 Corinthians 2: 3-6
    All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you….

    My daughters smiled…”Yep, that’ s good…keep the mask off and keep writing.”

    A few hours latter 2 of my teen boys took the trash and recycling out to the garbage.  A solo son returned. …. “Mom, Noah needs you.”

    I walked to the door, only half interested, and not wanting to stick my head out for fear of the cold. My solo son, Ben led the way, flinging open the front door.  I stepped out onto the porch, my eyes peering around for Noah.  Then i saw him, half buried in a snowbank…rolling around…mock crying.

    “Really?  Is that an imitation of me?  Crying in the snowbank?”

    “Yep,”  the teens  declared together. “Yes, it is.”

  • February 15, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    snowWe headed out to church like any other Sunday.  Except the wind was whipping making visibility poor and the chunks of ice caked up by my tires, which we could not chisel off, made it difficult to drive.
    So i made the executive decision to turn back…and go home.

    Walking through the snowy path back to the house i slipped and fell into the snow bank.   As i struggled to get back up i felt cold, fat, frustrated and weary.  It has been a long winter.  It has been a long few years.

    Heaving myself up and gathering my dispersed belongings… i began to cry.
    I didn’t plan that.
    It just happened.
    And it wasn’t because i had slipped into the snow.

    The dip into that snow bank was the stopping point on a long list of “One more thing.”

    And “One more thing”  caught up with me in that snow bank and would not let go.

    And “One more thing” whispered….”You’re never gonna make it.”
    “Your’e always gonna be poor, weak, tired, and lacking.”
    “You’re never gonna rise above…be made whole…or victorious.”
    “You don’t have what it takes to do this life you’ve been assigned.”                                                                       “So why keep trying…give in…sit down…and stay down.”

    I went into my room and i kept up the crying…and crying.
    but there were knocks on my bedroom door…
    the buzz of a text message
    and the sound of our ringing house phone….

    Really?  You would think i’d have 15 minutes to cry alone….but life doesn’t stop when mama cries.
    Even when she’s fallen into a snowbank.
    Even when she feels like the biggest loser… or the most incompetent mom…or the weakest link…or the tired, worn out heap of a mess.

    I sat on my bed, in wet clothing, now cry-less, unable to process the looong list of “One more thing”  that i knew wanted to dominate my brain cells.  That list of my life’s experiences was staring me down and demanded a show down.  That list of real-true-everyday-stuff-that-i-constantly-live-in didn’t budge.  He wouldn’t’ move until i at least acknowledged him. He wouldn’t back up, back off or step aside.

    It was just me …and him.

    This time i made the first move.
    Slick and quick without hesitation.
    I claimed the “first draw”.
    I grabbed my laptop.
    And i began to write.
    Because i know there is someone else out there.
    That fell into a snowbank today.
    That almost couldn’t get up.
    That has their own “One more thing list” running repeat in their head.
    That feels like they aren’t gonna make it this time.

    When you’re done crying….
    And can read these words..
    I want to help you start a new list…
    A list called…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    If you have been sexually abused as a kid…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If your parents are divorced…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If a loved one has committed suicide…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have been mentally/emotionally abused…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you live in chronic pain and illness yourself…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have a child that lives in daily pain and illness…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you know the pain or rejection and abandonment…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have been divorced…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you had to pack up your life and restart…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you are a single mama…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have visited a loved on in prison…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have experienced the heart ache of drug addiction, porn addiction, alcohol addiction, food addiction…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you have a family member with mental illness…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    IF you have visited anorexia clinics, psychiatrists, drug rehab facilities, multiple on going doctors offices, surgery centers, court rooms and the District Attorney’s office…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you live in  poverty…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you wonder how your gonna put food on the table this month…or buy gas…or sneakers…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    If you are over whelmed with the daily grind of life…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    We all have our lists.  All of us.
    And i am well aware my life list could be filled with much more painful and heartbreaking experiences.
    I am very grateful that i have not tasted the sorrow of  many things… such as some of my dear sisters have.

    I know but a little about a few things…but they are real things…and they are my things…and they are things that pile up and make me cry when i fall into a snow bank.

    But they are also the very things that give my story some credibility.

    And they are the things i can open up to others….when they are crying in a snowbank…along side the road of their journey…when their “One more thing list” whispers in their ear…that they aren’t gonna make it…


    ………………………………………and it was meant to be shared………………………………………………………..


  • February 12, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    helping-someone-withdrawlI’m an emergency do-er…..i typically do big, hard, urgent stuff without much thought.

    My 53 year old body’s adrenaline automatically kicks into gear…my 53 year old mind repeats, “Just do the next thing.”….and i walk through the scary, difficult, wild stuff and hold it together till  the crisis has passed.

    Then i crash.   C  R  A  S  H.

    In some of my crashes i have broken a finger.
    In other collisions i have sprained my back and pulled a rib.
    In the worst downward spirals i have smashed headfirst into the pavement, disjointing every bone in my body, and ripping the skin from my bones.

    And then i’m stuck…stuck feeling the pain… of a bloody mess of me.

    Crashes are okay with me.  I know my body, my mind and my spirit need a  fair chance to process, evaluate, feel it and regroup.

    I know there is pain involved in a crash.  I expect that.  I allow that.  I welcome that.
    The pain means i’m alive, living and breathing.  Thinking and feeling.  Alive.

    And i understand injury due to a crash…whether emotional or physical… requires time to heal.
    I have proved the theory….     “Time is a healer” ….   correct.

    But what am i to do when the effects of my latest crash linger on past a reasonable time of recovery?
    When my body is healing okay…but my mind “Doesn’t wanna do this anymore.”
    When the pain of the past emergency collides with the heartache of today…producing a bonafide mess.

    The best answer i have found for that dilemma is hidden in the pages of the BIBLE.
    Tucked inside the Old Testament.
    Wrapped up in the book of ISAIAH.
    Chapter 58.
    Verses 7-22.

    These verses drip with ageless Wisdom…straight from the mouth of GOD…that tells me to:

    Sounds pretty much to me like….. “Kim, go help someone else.”

    And listen to these benefits!

    So when the results of my latest crash lingerer on past the acceptable time of recovery, i turn to the well worn pages in my tattered BIBLE….and i re read out loud GODs plan for my complete healing.

    A plan only my GOD could have invented.
    A plan that if put into action will bring the release i’ve been looking for.
    A plan that not only will bless my life but others.
    A plan that if lived out would be an excellent way to spend the rest of my days.

    Giving, giving giving……..
    only to find……..
    in the end……..
    a beautiful bouquet…..
    of blessings.

  • February 6, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    catscanThe king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases….proverbs 21:1

    My baby girl Elisabeth had appendicitis for 22 days.  Twenty two.
    Her symptoms were classic.   
    I recognized them. 
    The doctors recognized them.
    The ER teams recognized them. 
    The surgeons recognized them.
    Our modern day CAT scan did not.
    So she was stuck.  Stuck in a cycle of unrelenting pain and continual nausea.
    She missed 2 weeks of school because any movement caused the pain to get worse…walking, sneezing, car rides…any movement.
    She lost 12 pounds because appendicitis makes you sick.  So sick food that is the last thing you wanna do. 
    And this mama was stuck too.  Stuck watching her baby suffer day and night in persistent pain… that had no answers.
    “I don’t feel good mommy.”…  was her daily song to me.
    “Please fix Lissah”…was her daily message to me, left in hand written notes all over our house.
    Finding an outside surgeon that would look at my kid wasn’t easy.
    Sitting in another doctors office and telling our story for the umpteenth time was tiring.
    Hearing this “last ditch effort” surgeon say…”This doesn’t look like appendicitis.”….made my heart sink.
    Hearing him say “There is no evidence on the CAT scan for surgical removal”…made me wanna puke.
    Hearing this surgeon say “I will have to consult with the pediatric surgeon (the same guy who chose 3xs NOT to remove her appendix because the CAT scan told him not to)…made me loose all hope.
    “Well LORD, i have no idea what is wrong with this child or what to do next. Oh LORD help.”
    The doctor rose from his swivel stool to perform a 60 second exam on lissah and sat back down.  Turning to me he said….”I will be looking at the CAT scan myself but despite what i see i think i should go in and get a good look around.”….i stared  at him in silent unbelief.
    He continued…”When i go in i will get a good look at her appendix.” .…where did this suddenly come from?
    “And whether the appendix looks sick or not…i am going to take it out.” ...what in the world!
    “This is a reasonable next step.”  He continued…” It may not solve her pain.  But it is the next thing to do.”...huh?
    I could not believe my ears! 
     What just happened?
    I was eye witnessing a total 180…
    an absolute turn around…
    an unexpected U-turn.
    It was like this surgeon didn’t even realize what he was saying.  The words were just rolling off his tongue….In absolute contradiction to his opening remarks…in opposition to his initial plan..in rebuttal to the infamous CAT scans. 
    “I will still consult with the pediatric surgeon.  But that is my direction.  I think we should get her is as soon as possible.  How about tomorrow?”
    I was mystified.
    Although happy we had a plan…at least another step to try…i puzzled over what i had seen and heard.  What made the change?
    That’s when the HOLY SPIRIT in HIS faithfulness did HIS job…bringing a BIBLE verse to my mind…revealing to me what i had just witnessed.
    The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases….proverbs 21:1
    I had been watching the unfolding of my GOD’s WORD from a front row seat.  I know what i saw.  I know what i heard.  I know what happened.
    GOD, in HIS time, wrote HIS words on the brain of that surgeon to do a complete turn face….HE intervened in mid-sentence…and turned that mans heart to operate on HIS little girl…that HE knew all along had a bum appendix.
  • February 5, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    yckKaApdiparent1I’m a mama with a lot of kids.  Having a lot of kids comes with a lot of responsibility.  (To whom much is given much is required)

    Being a single mama of lots of kids means i play solo…all day…everyday…yep.

    On the flip side… being a kid of this single mama comes with great responsibility also.  Works both ways i guess.  Family ties are a 2-way stream.

    For instant…. i have trained my kids to fill in in the blanks for me…so whenever i speak to them and tell them to “put the bread in the dryer”…my kids know they are to de-code what i’ve  said and make it make sense…no questions asked…that is their responsibility.

    For instant…when my offspring sees me standing in the middle of the living room, eyes glazed over, staring straight ahead, muttering repeatedly  “mom is over-stimulated”….they are keenly aware this is NOT the time to ask when we are leaving for the ball game, where their IPOD charger is, or if we can get a family membership to the gym….that is their responsibility.

    For instant…when my lovely youth hear me say “i am going to the car”…and they see me “grab my BIBLE”…they instinctively know they should not stand in my path to the door.  They sweetly smile and wave “see ya”…and let me sink into the refuge of my parked car, in my driveway, on my country lane…for as long as i need…to be alone with JESUS…that’s their responsibility.

    Being a single mama is never easy.

    Being a kid of a single mama ain’t either.

    Being together in this thing called life…and each doing our learned responsibility…well now, that’s the ticket!





  • February 3, 2015 /  Uncategorized

    downloaoilI’ve gone through stuff in my life.  Just like you.  We’ve all got our stuff.  Just so happens that the past few months have been a new version of stuff i haven’t tasted before….  And i don’t like the taste….Never-the-less….it is the plate set before me.

    One looong, haaaard day last week i sat before the LORD and stared…just stared…”LORD, i can’t even pray”………….so i stared some more.         And the LORD in HIS infinite goodness granted me a vision.

    In that vision i saw myself, a tiny little version of me, standing in the middle of a huge golden bowl.  And that bowl was as bone dry as i was.  And i knew it…i was standing alone in a dry, desolate place.

    Then one by one i felt drops…drops of oil…(not water)…oil…and one by one those drops began to saturate my face, anoint my body and fill up that golden bowl…one.. by one.. by one…

    As i pondered the meaning of this vision the LORD spoke to me and said…. “I know you don’t have the strength to pray right now…but I have MY people praying for you…every drop of oil represents a prayer of a saint, who is lifting you up before MY Throne.”

    I lifted my face towards Heaven and smiled…”Oh LORD thank you, thank you, thank you!”

    Then i went to the WORD.  And i cracked the BOOK open and looked for confirmation.  And glory to GOD, right there it was!

    And when he took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people.
    Revelation 5:8
    The smoke of the incense, mixed with the prayers of God’s holy people, ascended up to God from the altar where the angel had poured them out. Then the angel filled the incense burner with fire from the altar and threw it down upon the earth; and thunder crashed, lightning flashed, and there was a terrible earthquake.

    Revelation 8:4-5

    golden bowl
    prayers of the saints
    ascending to GOD

    now add fire from the alter…and we have completed the recipe for a move of GOD…

    I believe in Heaven… GOD has golden bowls, of various  sizes,  constantly being filled up with the prayers of HIS people…and at just the right time…when that last prayer drops into that specific basin…that certain golden bowl tips and overflows to earth… pouring out the answer and  saturating the recipient with blessings from heaven.

    I believe.