Living life in a large family with my concussioned head means mom sits home and stares straight ahead while life zooms by her on every side.
Honestly, i’d rather be zooming along side my basketball playing kiddos…racing from game to game this weekend in a far off city…but my reality says “No”….so here i sit.
In an honest attempt to not grow grouchy about my present state of circumstance…(my recent fall being only one in a looong list of “present circumstance”)… i turn to my computer….and let my fingers type…as i reflect on my adventures as the mama of this tribe.
I”ve learned a few things.
I’ve traveled some miles in these mama shoes.
31 years of miles to be exact.
31 years of stories and memories and tales.
For instance…did you know that when you call to make an appointment for your strepped-throat kid at their doctors office…and they ask you for the kids birth date….they do not accept the answer…
“I believe its May, somewhere around the 20th, 1999 ish?”
Apparently, that’s not a good-enough answer. No sir-ree.
They expect you to “narrow it down for them.”
So, you begin scrambling for their insurance card…in the bottom of your purse… because that will surely have the correct birth date on it…while at the same time you begin mouthing silently…to any kid close to you…””””WHEN IS NOAH’S BIRTHDAY?””””””
When the “mouthed-to kid” responds “Noah who?”…You shoot a dirty look…and dig deeper into the recesses of that purse.
Finally, you pull out an insurance card… and with a victorious “Ta-da!”….you tell the receptionist excitedly…”I got this!”…..and quote proudly the exact birth date….of another sibling.
“Nope, try again,” you hear. I think i sense sarcasm.
“Well in all fairness,” you say, “That kid probably has a sore throat too…so save that birth date…and we will just book them both appointments.”
Silence. Dead silence.
Now you have to resort to the good-ol’-big-family-stand-by…..”Listen,” you say, “I have nine kids…and i’m lucky to remember their names, let alone their birth dates….now, you and i both know that you have this kids birthday on record…up on your computer screen, right this very minute…could you please give me a little help here? Is it May?”
“Okay, then it had to have been the 18th.”
“Nice!…alright its not 1999 is it?”
“Am i hot or cold?”
You smile triumphantly….as you have successfully cracked the birthday code…an accomplishment for any mama of a large family……and you proceed to schedule the appointment…..
While waiting for the receptionist to find the “next available opening”…..you turn to whatever kid that is walking past you and whisper smugly,.. “Noah’s birthday is May 18, 1997.”
To which he replies, “Noah who?”