The day started as usual….yelling at the kids to get up. Well, i never start by yelling…i start sweet and then add on from there.
For example, the other day, during our regular morning routine, my senior kid, who had buried his blonde head under his blanket… came out with a good one. He informed me in a muffled tone…that it was illegal for me to physical lay my hands upon him during our morning routine. Yes, that is what he said. Illegal.
I believe his exact words were,”It’s illegal for you to touch me when you are waking me up.”
To which i replied, “Really?”…and of course, shook him all the more.
Mind you, this is the same kid who breaks out singing Bohemian Rhapsody’s “Mama Mia, Mama Mia let me go.”…..during a stern talking to. So i’m pretty used to him. He don’t scare me much.
But this morning i shook no one. We were busy and the kids were running late. So i bypassed the shaking all together and went straight to threatening. Saved me some time.
They got moving and the clock kept ticking. And i was doing the count down thing. You know, kinda like the air traffic controller. “20 minutes to go….11 minutes left….3 minutes and your out the door.”
A whirlwind passed by me as duffle bags were grabbed….toothbrushes spit out…basketballs were retrieved…and money was pushed into the drivers palm while my eyes narrowed in on his face. “I expect-every-single-cent-of-that-change.” I spoke through clenched mouth… slowly and deliberately.
“Yep, yep and yep, got it.”
“And watch your sister……………..boys……………” My voice faded over the growling engine.
I closed the door to the outside world and looked around my quiet house. It had the look of a well lived in comfortably messy home sweet home. “Well, i thought…if i can’t go with them…at least i have a beautiful country homestead to live on and rest on…”
I sat down in an attempt to relieve my dizziness and the mounting pressure in my post-concussioned head.
My eyes closed as i leaned back into my chair…reviewing the hurried mornings events…feeling very blessed that i have kiddos that enjoy hanging out with one another…even if they don’t use their strategically placed alarm clocks…
My 30 something son broke the silence by walking through the living room door. “How did that go?” He asked, “Everybody gone?”
“Yeah, off to the game.” I nodded.
“I only have one regret,” I spoke quietly to him as my mind wandered off in remembrance, “I’m pretty sure i told them they had to fight for their breakfast.”
“What?” Seth said.
“Yeah, i know i did…it all happened so fast…but i do recall…that Ben asked if there were any pancakes left from yesterday…i said only 4…he said make ’em for me please…and i said…i will put them in the microwave but you guys will have to fight for them.”
I turned to my eldest, blinked and continued…”Seth, i just told my kids they had to fight each other for their breakfast.”
Seth looked at me casually and shrugged his shoulders, “Look at it this way mom…they would have fought over their breakfast anyways…you just beat them to it….you were stating the inevitable…you beat them to the punch line..”
“Hmmmmmm….I replied, “Good point…”
“And,” I added thoughtfully, re considering my words, “I didn’t say, to the death.”
I leaned back in my chair content. It really was just another morning.