My life with a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury has been very interesting to say the least. I’ve been waiting for 8 1/2 months to walk out of this “new” life and back to my “old” one. But waiting is not my forte.
I take great comfort in my homemade motto. The saying that has echoed into every doctor’s visit, each specialists appointment, and all physical and occupational therapist office. It’s my goal on this path. My personal pledge.
“I will do everything I can within the resources available to me to aid in my recovery.” And I check that mantra with every health care physician I see to be sure I am doing just that.
Besides being a woman of flesh, I am a woman of the Word. I know and understand that my life is being held in the nail-scarred hands of my loving Creator, and He alone has the final say over every happening of me. I believe that truth more than I trust in my motto.
A couple of months ago, during a time of prayer, a good God loving sister brought me a word. In essence, the word said that “As a baby is in the womb nine months so you will be in this concussion nine months, and then you will be birthed out.”
I like that word. I’ll take that word. I’ll embrace that word. I expect that word.
My God friend had no way of knowing that way, way back in the beginning of my concussion journey, just two weeks into this adventure, God came to me in a vision. And in that vision God took me back to the womb. I saw myself conceived. I saw myself develop. I saw myself at every stage of growth. I saw myself birthed.
Actually rebirthed as an adult… the me of today. Interesting stuff.
So now I put those two ideas together is my head. I ponder. I meditate, I wait.
I lay my heart out before God to be sure it is squeaky clean and ready for His arrival. Because I believe God can do anything He wants, anytime He wants, with anybody He wants. I believe.
The nice thing about this word is that it is time sensitive. It will be easy to track. A baby is nine months in the womb. An overdue baby? Add on a couple of weeks. My due date is December 21, 2015. Give or take a week or two. If this is the plan of my Lord, I can expect to have newness of life in just a few weeks.
And newness of life for me would look like walking and driving and running and dancing and playing. It would leave me cane-less, shades-less, and earplug-less.
I would once again be able to church-it, basketball-it, and friends-it.
A baby growing in the womb was created to be born. She was designed to be her own separate entity. She was planned to develop then be birth out into great things. There is no middle ground. No half-way. No almost. It’s all, or it’s nothing.
It was slightly amusing to me that I received a word from the doctor and a word from the Lord. Both words may seem different, but they aren’t… they are very much the same. “You, Kim, need a miracle.”
So now I ponder, I watch, and I pray.
While I wait, I guard my heart.
Because broken dreams are hard doorways to walk through.
Disappointment can be a cruel taskmaster.
And bitterness looks ugly on me.
I prefer while I am watching to see how this unfolds to side with my old testament buddies Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo. Those three devoted followers of their God spoke well when they were faced with their own fiery furnace. And I like that they had a plan A and a plan B. (Daniel 3:16-18)
Plan A…Our God is able to deliver us, and He will deliver us!
Plan B…Even if He doesn’t we will not serve any other.
It’s no deal breaker with us.
So folks…one way or another you and I are going to get to witness a miracle.
As I open the door a crack and let you into my biggest life’s stuff.
I appreciate you coming and visiting for awhile.
I feel so honored and blessed that you would spend some of your day with me.
Thanks for the company around my kitchen table.
It’s good to know you’re here.
And you will be one of the firsts ones to know
if it’s a plan A or a plan B for your friend Kim Barnes Waterman,
who acknowledges that either plan is a bonified miracle of God.
I covet the first. I am prepared for the second.
And honestly the second may be the greater miracle.